Thursday, February 15, 2018

Week 5 Story: The Calf

Inaya had taught herself magic at a very young age, much younger than most people would consider advisable. Her father had fretted constantly, and tried to persuade her to wait until she was older. Her mother had hovered and reminded her to be careful at least five times a day. Alishba, Inaya's childhood friend, had been gratifyingly excited whenever Inaya successfully pulled off a new spell, but had mostly sat by and complained about being bored she was while Inaya tried to practice.

It occurred to Inaya, as she stared at Alishba in horrified shock, that the other girl would probably be glad soon that she had practiced so much when they were younger.

Inaya was looking at a calf. It was pretty, as far as calves go, but there was nothing very special about its physical appearance. Most people wouldn't see anything out of the ordinary about it.

                                      

But Inaya's skill with magic allowed her to catch glimpses of people's spirits, and she clearly saw that the cow was unmistakably Alishba. The two had been inseparable for nearly their entire lives, and recently had started dating. Inaya would recognize Alishba in any form.

"Alishba, dear, why are you a cow?" Inaya asked.

Alishba mooed in response. Inaya wasn't sure why she had expected anything else.

"You can explain when you're human again. Give me just a moment."

Inaya laid her hand on Alishba's furry forehead and, closing her eyes, chanted a spell to reverse transformations. When she opened her eyes, however, nothing had changed.

Alishba gave the saddest moo Inaya had ever heard.

"Don't worry," she said. "I know what went wrong. The spell was cast specifically to fool one person, probably your father, so it can't be lifted until he realizes you've been transformed. I'll just tell him, then turn you back."

Inaya sent her father to tell Alishba's father what had happened. When the two men arrived, Inaya recited another spell, this time over a pitcher of water that she threw on Alishba, washing away the curse that had been put on her. In an instant, Alishba was fully human again.

Alishba's father immediately pulled her into a long hug. The moment he let go Alishba ran and threw herself into Inaya's arms, giving her a kiss before pulling her into a tight embrace. Inaya held Alishba, filled with relief that she had been able to change her back. In a little while, Inaya might turn her thoughts toward getting revenge against whoever had transformed Alishba, but for the moment she just enjoyed their reunion.

Author's Note: In the original story, The Hind, from the Arabian Nights, an old man tells the story of how his wife turned their adopted son into a calf and tried to trick him into sacrificing the calf. He refuses to do so, and then the daughter of one of his employees tells him that the calf is his son and reverses the spell in exchange for the son's hand in marriage and permission to place a curse on the old man's wife.

Image: Calf photo

6 comments:

  1. Hi Emily!
    I really liked this story, and it was not one that I was familiar with so I was excited to read about it. I thought you put a lot of detail and description into your story. I am also so glad that you changed the ending. You made it so much happier! Overall, good job, I thought you did a really good job altering it!

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  2. Hi Emily! I really liked how Inaya is so chill with Alishba being a cow, like it is a normal sort of thing for her girlfriend to be turned into different animals every now and then. The story was a little difficult to follow, but only because I was unsure of which girl was who. Overall, good work!

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  3. I like the way that the introduction starts talking about Inaya learning magic from an early age, and leading that back into the present where Inaya is staring at the calf that is Alishba.

    The line about Alishba mooing in reply to Inaya's question is great; I've always loved humor that pokes fun at characters losing their head a little and getting an obvious but very unhelpful result.

    The ending segment is great. Inaya and Alishba's reunion is a happy one, and we get a little mini-reveal of their relationship without ever having to explicitly state it. The small bit about future revenge gives the reader a bit of possible anticipation for a follow-up, which is great.

    In addition, to return to the beginning of the story, I'm interested in all the things that we get only hints of. Magic is apparently dangerous, and even more so when learned early; Inaya's mother and father are extremely worried for her, trying to get her to put off her learning and, when that fails, warning her extremely frequently about being careful. Is magic dangerous because of the type of thing that happened to Alishba, or is there more? It's left open-ended, and I both love and hate that. I love it because it works well to build interest, at least for people interested in magic systems (readers who are more like Alishba probably don't take quite as much interest, I suppose!). I hate it only because I want to know more and I doubt that I'll get it!

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  4. Emily,

    This was a fun, short story that I really enjoyed. I got a little lost for a minute when you first mentioned that Inaya was “horrified” to look at her friend, and I definitely had to read that section a few times. I like how you were building some suspense as to what she was seeing, but perhaps there could be a clearer transition between the paragraph about the background information and the current situation. Inaya was very knowledgeable about magic and that obviously came in handy for her and her friend. I enjoyed seeing how quickly Inaya could asses the situation and fix it.

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  5. Hi, Emily!

    This is such a cool twist on the original story! I especially like that you left the story somewhat open-ended. I would love to know why Alishba had been turned into a cow, and what actions Inaya will take in the future to prevent such curses agains her girlfriend. I think that great writing should always leave readers wondering what happens next, and you definitely accomplished that here!

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  6. I loved your spin on this story! It had such a strong theme of friendship and i love that she was able to feel the other girls spirit in the animal just by their bond. The story was short but emotionally charged. I like that there was not a huge emphasis on backstory and more on the relationship between the two girls.

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